why we gotta turn on each other
It was only a woman, why you gotta lose brother Been through it all all we had was each other(Remember those times?) Now you gotta do this motherfucker But it's me who has gotta choose his words carefully Cuz I have ability to hurt people And the agility to write rhymes Create a torture facility go five nights I am 5'9(Royce da 5'9) You dont know Half of the things I say Half of the things I mean only tag me mean, because you think I did you wrong Write absurd lyrics and put out a song, And the song wasn't even to diss you, But three other people who only miss you When they think you living it, reeling it, feeling lit Killing it, But I am Dealing with, sitting with FOMO(Depression) Throw a fit Break a shit Loneliness in session The older you get the more you set Your feelings free and the more you get People mad The more people hate Your truth You were better mute You get better sued You better shoot Away these attitude Or you get screwed(What?) Maybe I am not as bad as you say Maybe I just say what I say Because the music is the only way To vent out, get loud, scream shout And honestly I never thought These words would even reach out But this time I want to be heard To teach these backstabbers A lesson Every fucking action got a consequence Destroyed affection in your passion Burnt reputation's every fraction You and me in different faction I don't care if you get hurt I don't care if you get worked up I wish you could look me in the eye But you fucked up Part 2 and you get mopped up (You already know who you are)
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Possibly the best lyrically I have written so far. Honestly, quite proud of this one. At this rate I think I'll be done releasing 50 raps within next month only. Lyrics: I know you feelin down You don't know how to come around And these feelings seem to persist Yu don't know how to break em down But trust me man You been through it all Nothing can faze you now Pick yourself up Take a breath and maybe just move around Dust on your face Weak Knees But Nothing can take you down That look in your eyes That smirk on your face You know you back a soldier now It was like a ton on my shoulders For a while I felt 600 years older But gosh I am atlas The burden's off of my back I am off o my shackles I feels like lava's burning in me I am fucking fire I amma conquer the world No I dont do satire It's been too long since I have been playing victim The world was free I did nothing thought maybe I ticked him He was made at me or somethin Fuck you God, making me miserable and You be happy jumping Only to realize it was my own fuckin problem Chose to see the dark when the sky shined I just need to be happy All I need is just that one line I better be somebody I dont wanna die being nothing Be the Greatest Now I mma turn nothings into somethings Yeah even butterflies be singing One day you're gonna make it Your lyrics gonna hit, Real as always You know I don't fake it Convinction in eyes And ready to bear the burden Come join me if you think you can take it Rap music always interested me. I think I got introduced to it in 8th grade, listening to Eminem and then getting hooked to entire art form. I remember writing songs back then too, because all of a sudden it was popular and a lot of kids were showing interest for it too. Coming back to today, I thought why not give it a try again. So setting goal of releasing 50 decent songs by the end of next year, I am starting with this. Not sure why I even make these and dare enough to publish and risk public embarrassment.
Here's another one; I smoked one day and started typing words and an hour later found that maybe, just maybe, my writing style has improved a bit. I plan to release 50 more of these raps and quit. Let's see how it goes. | Intro | Take me to a place Where I can be free Take me to a place Where I can be me Baby tell me what you feel Why dont you come back to me? | Verse 1 | It's true that I miss you But can't express myself, Not fuckin with you I kinda miss that body in my arms, not joking to you I am past my frustrated youth But these events last, till my adult hood My attitude's been kinda off lately But fuck that, you got a new dude, I don't know how to feel, jealous? maybe Honesty I don't care fuck it all I am bare Let's share Everything taht I got Everything that I feel So Let's pick up another topic Create more stories, so another can gossip You want more, let me produce right outta my pocket Guilty pleasures, pains skyrocket Wish someone just punhces me in eye socket Let me feel, back hunched, nose bleeding, Aye suck it Weak demeanour, hanging by few threads Aye fuck it, Imma switch blades, new Aastikya, new shades A new me, better me, God Bless | Chorus | Take me to a place Where I can be free Take me to a place Where I can be me Baby tell me what you feel Why dont you come back to me? | Verse 2 | You don't know go through, So cold, so aloof, Yeah fuck my insecurities show through I wish I came from a richer family Sit under the money tree, that truth Or some kinda monetary root I wish I wasn't a solitary fool Or I looked better Knew mental kung fu So I wouldn't be do depressed, Oh shoot Why do I spill all the beans, Do I need rest, all cool Thought I was a success, but everything I touch turns to ashes I dont know how long I can go till my plane crashes or Maybe I can slit my wrist and save me the shame of being trash ssssssssss | Chorus | Beats by nk music - [FREE] Frank Ocean x Kendrick Lamar x Isaiah Rashad Lofi Type Beat | "Diamond In The Rough" 3 Minutes ReadSitting in the toilet, holding The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck in one hand and scratching the mosquito bites with another(see, literally not giving a fuck to mosquitoes or the scenario I am writing here) when suddenly an idea pops into my head. You see, I have always been fascinated by the idea of death. I often think about the death of my closed ones, how that would affect me and how much loving I should be towards that person. No matter my anger or my bitter emotions towards them, they vaporise as soon as I think about it. The chapter I was reading was Mark talking about Death. He wanted to make a point that it's necessary to think about your own death to bring your life into perspective. These Self Help books tend to talk about these things to you. Stephen Covey in his 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, asks the reader to literally imagine the reader's funeral and picturize what his family, friends and people who knew him say about him. I instantly thought of that. My mind quietened down a little as I tried to do the same. I couldn't picture my own death. My legacy or any value I could ever leave in this world. But something else did come up. I imagined myself, sitting in a theatre, looking at myself on the big screen(yes, shitting, at that point). The events of the day rolled. How I have lived my past few days rolled. I wondered ,"Is this the kind of movie you like, Aastikya?" Days are the same. Nothing is changing. Have you ever seen those scenes in movies where the main character suddenly goes into Hyperlapse and everything is moving so fast around him that you can't fathom, but he is still, in expressions, while his body changes rapidly. A twenties something boy, just sitting and growing; wrinkles growing on his forehead, beard grows exponentially, then it turns white and he grows balder and balder. By the end of it all, his expressions still the same, his appearance changes so much that he looks like a meek old man, on his last breaths. That's how I imagined myself, yes, while still in the toilet. We Indians called it Shauchalaya, and jokingly say, it's a place where people think. Not incorrect apparently.
What if you, just sitting or standing where you are right now, could imagine yourself the same way. Comfortably sitting, alone in a theater. A projector projecting the white light on the screen and your entire life flashes in front of you. Which events would you cherish? What regrets would you have? What stories would you have you created? Is this how you wanted it? Is this the movie you wished for yourself? Believe it or not, I have the script ready in my mind, consciously and mostly unconsciously and it's playing that way, for the good or for the bad. Call it what you may, Vision, Spiritual Pathway, The Divine Road, Luck, whatever, it plays out exactly how you believe it to be. Now, let me stop trying to sound like a smartass here, because I am not, and mostly because I am not sure what point I am trying to make in the entire post other than that, once in a while, you should imagine yourself as a movie and question if the movie is any good. Well, that's all for my musing right now. Until next time. Aastikya Tiwari Dear Diary, I was interviewed last Saturday by my friend Parul and her friends for her college MIT Avantika(Big thankyou btw!). It was great! I think I love talking in-front of camera and it really went great. I was hoping they'd get in depth with me and my life but we only talked about Artworks and my philosophies behind it and that's it. Razor Cut song is near completion, although I really cant finish it - the chorus and in-between transition parts - making them sound good is beyond my abilities. I wonder what I'll do. The rap part is great and as usual I vented out, again.
I am irritated about my life right now. most recent is my frustration towards friendship. I do not have as many of the type of friends I want. I do not have the life I want and I am becoming more and more firm in my decision to quit Art once I am done with last of my paintings. I would like to focus on music for a little while whenever I finish the pieces. I'll focus on living life. Mom's birthday was yesterday and man was she jolly! She looks to get younger and younger with time. I love her. I really do. I am not sure why I mask it. I presented her my frustration towards my life in Indore but now I think I might not actually want the life I talk about, otherwise I'd be out doing something by now. Maybe I am just too scared and already given up on my dreams, being more realistic. This has been in the market for so long! A lot of people have been saying it but I never really got it. There was this one Youtube Self Help Video(what? Are you serious?) Yeah yeah. Anyway, in the video this guy educates about the 7 Biggest Lessons he learned from reading 138 Books. I think that's the title as well.
One of the lessons was - Be a Producer and Not a Consumer. This hit me recently working on my own Video Game - Clash of Gods. I had this experience back working on PonjiRo - Another Video Game made for Android but I never took it seriously. Now that I am working on Clash of Gods, I have to handle so much as compared to working as a Freelancer. I am doing Illustrations, Concept Art, Doing Game Design Documents, learning how to edit videos, How to make Game Trailers, PR, Promotion, Reading Business Related books, how to persuade people, how to properly convey your message. So much for what? Just one tiny little game that I want to get released in a month. Most of the people(including me) are raging consumers - I want to see TV! Oh I want to use that Social Application now! Oh! Let's listen to music. Let's get Doritos. Let's buy some Alcohol and the list is never ending. What do you learn? Now let's imagine this for a minute - You have to make One Episode of a... let's say your very own Youtube series. That sounds fun, doesn't it? Let's start with very basics here - You come up with a story(you are thinking!) and you write. To actually write something worthwhile you need to have good command over language. We can skip this though. You have written something and it's time to bring in some actors. You write script for them and then comes directing, followed by publishing, marketing it properly. You learn a lot. Of course you can just hire people but that also requires having good Social skills and persuading people to believe that it's actually the best and it has some lucrative end product. It's not as easy as you think(I thought). All in all, it's better to become a producer once in a while. It's a great learning experience whereas in comparison consumerism is passive approach. But again, all of it is just my opinion on it and I am too lazy to pull up links of proof. |
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